Because all to often

Mans work is more important than who he is

And what he earns becomes what he is worth

And his career is more important than his family

And when is sacked or retired he becomes useless

And he must always pretend to be on top and push others down

And has to be strong and responsible and not to care about hurts

And never cry or show any vulnerability, in order not to be picked on

And the only way to escape from being a victim is to become a bully

And our confusion between sex and closeness isolates us from each other

And alienates us from women

And we must go to war or be branded a coward

And must kill or be killed

And torture and destroy and exploit and oppress

And obey orders and comply and compete for approval

And learn to use sex as a symbol of our strength

And perform even in our most intimate relationships

And if be gay be fair game for ridicule, contempt, hatred and violence

And use women as objects to prove our manhood

And shout at children to feel powerful

And terrify others to deny our own fears

And we struggle to support our families

And are cheated of the fruits of our labour

And spend most of our time away from the ones we love

And get ulcers and high blood pressure

And die of heart attacks or stress related diseases

Because for all these reasons

And any more you care to add

Dear friends I think it is time

 Before it is to late

That we had a hard look

At who we really are

And what we really want

And how we claim back

Our full powers

And humanness

And build a real

HUMANS world

NOW

 

Y.C

MAN has used many different mediums to facilitate how the voices of men are heard .

 

Below are a few examples of how men have reflected their differing life experiences using the written word 

DAD

Our surroundings as we grow make us what we are throughout our lives. 

 

The guidance, care, love and nurturing of loved ones mould our lives in ways we can see every day and in ways we don't even imagine.

The people we are today is the product of the love, understanding, caring, nurturing and guidance our loved ones give us as children and as we grow.

I realize that all you have done for me has made me the man I am.

 

Your guidance, care, love and nurturing throughout my life has made me a better person than I ever thought possible.

                                                                      I am glad they gave us this holiday called Fathers Day to tell you how thankful I am for all you have done.

You gave me a name plaque once that read:

———

*DOHERTY *

 “You got it from your father, It was all he had to give,
So it's yours to use and cherish, For as long as you may live.
If you lose the watch he gave you, It can always be replaced.
But a black mark on you name, son, Can never be erased.
It was clean the day you took it, And a worthy name to bear.
When he got it from his father, There was no dishonour there.
So make sure you guard it wisely, After all is said and done,
You'll be glad the name is spotless, When you give it to your son."

———

I may not have always followed this, but, I always remembered it.

 

I didn't realize what it was saying when I got it, but, I do now.

 

I know now all the pain I have caused you throughout the years.

 

 I would like to apologize for all the pain I have put you through.

 

I am truly sorry.

Through all that has happened I have always loved and respected you.

 

You are a GREAT man and I hope and pray that as I continue to grow, one day I can become just a fraction of how great you are.

I hope that one day I will be worthy of the name you gave me,

the name of a Great man.

I hope you have a wonderful Fathers Day!!

I Love You Dad, and I will try to make you proud.

 

J.D

 

A CHAIR IN A ROOM

 

 

A man taught me restraint, even when he was angry

 

A man gave me strength, when he never had any left

 

A man showed me again that rainbows have more than one colour

 

A man showed me once more to be quiet when quiet is right

 

A man showed me how to be me and to be me is unique

 

A man showed me when not to be in demand and the results if you are

 

A man was close to me, closer than he knew

 

A man taught me not to hate but just to accept

 

 

A chair in a room

 

Who would have thought

 

 

S.McN

This mans work is a twenty year reflection of his own life and that of the men he knew and observed.

It is presented deliberately in the shape of the mushroom cloud from an nuclear bomb to signify how he feels men today seem to be destroying their lives and the lives of others in apocalyptic proportions . 

Whether you see it like this ,or not, the work does outline quite starkly many of the issues that men experience and struggle  with in today's society,

This is one mans expression of his experience of  taking part in MAN’s

“Your Space” self help group.

This was one mans contribution to  MAN’s

“Celebration  of Fathering” Exhibition as part of

Fathers Day celebrations

.

The relationships between fathers and sons are often difficult with much true feeling left unsaid.

 

This piece is one mans attempt to address that.

Send us your thoughts or pictures on your experiences as a man  and we will publish what we can on our website 

E-Mail us to: man_in_derry@yahoo.co.uk

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